Testing Your Faith

For the three readers who see the title of this blog and know me, they are probably thinking right now, what in the heck is Michael talking about now. Testing your faith? How does a devout atheist have faith? They are probably asking themselves what variety of skunk I smoked while I was writing, but I can attest, there is no additional cannaboids effecting this blog, it is about life, and about humanity. It is about my faith in man, in human nature, and sometimes the lack there of.

Over the past 2 weeks I have come to the conclusion that things which at one point in our lives seem so meant to be, are not to be for a reason. I wish I could wrap my hands around what this reason is, or come to the conclusion that good things only happen to good people, but alas, that is not the case. Sometimes in life, the people who are the lowest of lows, the most disgusting people who have walked the face of this planet are the ones that get to the top. They get there because they care nothing about anyone else, nothing about the people in their lives, only themselves. One thing I do understand is I am the only one who effects my path in life, and I am the only one who can change the path in life I travel on. I have control over nobody else in life, so I can not worry about their lives. It does make me wonder though, and hope that there is some sort of comeuppance for those in life who are less than scrupulous, but it is just that, hope. Hope that one day, people who do all the fucking over in life will get fucked over in the long run.

For me, there are two people on the face of the earth right now who I would not walk across the street to piss on if they were on fire. Both of them are female, and both of them have tried to test my faith in humanity and fellow man. I have thought about talking all about one of them on facebook or in my blog. Well, I did ask one person to be my friend on facebook, if only to show her that not only am I the better person, I also know I made the right choices in life, and it is something I am very proud of. She made the wrong ones, but that is something that she has to live with, I sleep well every night, and I don't know if she does at all.

I then think of the other woman who is a complete waste of oxygen. I think of how she plotted to divorce her husband, and made his life miserable because she lacked the compassion to admit she was a lost child. I look at how she never knew her father because he left her and her mother for the mothers best friend, so it left a scar in her past and a general distrust of men. I look at how she had her husband, the father of her child, living in a shelter for 3 months after she kicked him out of their house, and pulled a restraining order on him. I think of how she brought home a 6 pack of beer to an admitted alcoholic who had been sober for over 2 years and told him to drink because she was plotting on how to set up the divorce. I think about how she was fucking a co-worker, and had bruises on her thighs from rough sex, then used the bruises as evidence that her husband was abusive. I think about how she ran a road race which ended at his place of employment, and and she placed her daughter at the finish line. When he went to see his daughter, she told the cops that he was violating the restraining order and had him arrested yet a second time. I think of a lot of these things, and it definitely challenges my faith in humanity itself.

You see, there are bad people in this world, I do not for one second deny that. It is one of the reasons we have such obscure laws on the books like affirmative action. It is one of the reasons that people need to be protected in life from those who would not think twice to harm you as a person. It is how we get unfortunate problems like the Fels Acre Day Care fiasco which imprisoned and destroyed an innocent family for the aspirations of future politicians. It is everywhere we look in society.

But in the same breath, we can not let people like this become cynical in life. It is not the way to behave as a rational individual who not only holds his head up high every night, but also can know deep down inside, the right decision was made no matter what the outcome in life. It is not like me to wish ill will on anyone in life, and I will never wish that at all. I can not, it would demean who I am as a person and it would be against everything I stand for in life. I am a great man, I can hold my head high at who I have become in life, and I know I am the happier for it. I know the others who have done the screwing over of people I know in life will end up lonely and miserable in life. How do I know this? It is this simple. . .

You can not truly love another person in life until you love yourself. You can not give all of your heart to someone unless you have given it to yourself. You need to both come to grips with not only who you are in life, but the person you have become and change the things that make you feel like lesser of a person. The people who have done the screwing over can never achieve this nirvana in life, because they can never face the evil things they have done in their lives. Sure, it may have been monetarily beneficial to them in life, but at the end of the day, they have to live with their actions. They have to live with the absolute deplorable and abhorrent actions they have done in their lives, and go to sleep at night knowing just how horrible of a human being they are. They are going to pass on this unfavorable trait to their children, and they will be miserable all along the way. I am fortunate to not have to live my life like that. Even though I have made my share of mistakes, I can hold my head up high, and stand proud of who I am in life. It is because of HOW I live my life that I am proud. It has nothing to do with money, with respect, with honor, but instead what I believe in myself. I am glad of the man I have become and I am happy because of it. I can reflect on the negative energy these people bring into this world, and I can cancel it out with my own thoughts of positive things in life. Every day is a great day to live once you find your path in life, your mojo, who you are :) Don't let the others in life bring you down, instead use it as a focus of how you will never be in life, because you are a better person. javascript:void(0)

Peace Out,
Michael